I had an attack of total randomness and watched "Men With Brooms" today. It turns out that 1. Paul Gross can indeed make curling seem intense and passionate and beautiful and poetic (that man just shines. He shines. He makes me believe in auras), 2. I find Molly Parker stunningly hot, with her freckles and her dimples and her laugh, when she's not playing a wan opium addict, and 3. Wacky Canadian humor does indeed win.

Seriously, that's more cheese than I've consumed in movie form... possibly ever, and it was fun.

I am a day late and a dollar short- actually, I am going on a week late- but there was some fabulous stuff at the teal_ficathon this year and I need to rec.

( Teal'c recs with bonus meta babble )

For hilarytamar: Daniel/Paul Davis, not explicit.

( He hadn't expected Jackson here )

The thing about SF fandom, sometimes, is that the porn is hilarious. And I don't mean this in a bad way at all- not even a teeny-tiny bit. It's great.

I am speaking, you see, of john_farr, the multiple-AU built around that time John Sheppard went into Ponn Farr (subtitle: because mating cycles are hot!). Or at least, it starts that way (you should start here, which is short and sexy), and then balloons out into no less than four interconnected AUs where, due to Goauld manipulation, human physiology is very different. As an open 'verse the writing is inconsistent, of course- but might I recommend the sequel Skin Hunger, the John backstory Battlefield, and the Uni!John and Virgin!John AU branches?

And the thing about this is that I honestly have no idea if I have to hit my bunk or if I am just going to sit here giggling wildly. Because seriously: shit like this only happens in SF fanfic. Aliens make them do it! Ancient tech gives them telepathy/tentacles/an insatiable sex drive/whatever! Sex pollen! Elaborately constructed plotty setups that boil down to, "due to the applied phlebotinum, you must have sex or die. Get to it." And, seriously, it's ridiculous but it really hits the Id vortex buttons, doesn't it?

And just then I saw that paian posted fic, which always sends me into raptures of joy- but it turns out to be a double whammy. A sex pollen (in her warning, she says: aliens-gave-them-an-excuse-to-do-it. Truth in warnings! ♥) but also an alien-tech SF plot device that is on the face of it sort of ridiculous (in the best possible way) and yet allows for this intense, desperate, bizarre and disorienting non-con voyeurism thing that is hot as fuck and Jesus, I will be in my bunk.

Oh, science fiction. *rueful headshake* Ever since the original Star Trek writers came up with Ponn Farr, the descendants of which are God's gift to porn, I tell you. My love knows no bounds.

(And yes, I've been reading this stuff for a LONG TIME. I have no idea why the ridiculousness of it all hit me so hard just now)

( Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? )

( The Watchmen )

So I recently set about watching the later seasons of SG1. Finally. After seeing just bits and pieces out of order- really no full episodes after mid-Season 7 (guilty admission: I am normally a fanatical in-order watcher, but by the time I got to Season 7, I was utterly spoiled and I knew the later seasons just wouldn't be the same and I wanted to digest Jack and Daniel a little better first... and so I stopped right before Heroes. Because I couldn't face that episode). So I saw Heroes and all the way through for the first time, and all Season 8, and the first time for Reckoning and Moebius, and now I'm watching the introductions of Cam and Vala again.

I have thoughts. None of them earth-shattering, just my normal processing by typing.

( Firstly, Teal'c )

( And the other random notes )

( It's good that there's so much to like, because Season 8 makes me very sad. )

My lack of a Teal'c icon is a travesty that I will finally have to go out and fix, I think.

There is so much love over at the Valentine's Day Game. You should all go look!

( I was rewatching Lost City and… )

Thing 1: ( Merlin )

Anyway, I strongly sense a long ramble coming about what those magic elements have been, in the past, and why Arthurian legend is solid magic for me but so far Merlin isn't, and what the zing could be in Merlin but the show is so far failing to give me.

Thing 2: ( Vid )

I'm just saying, if I could vid, that's what I'd vid.

A Long Time Denied
NC-17, 6500 words, Jack/Daniel
Written for the J/D Kinkathon for the prompts "bottom Jack," "Jack in handcuffs," and "dubious consent." Missing scene/AU of 2x05 Need.
SERIOUS WARNINGS for consent issues
AN: I might as well just change my lj name to "the one with the oral fixation" now. I mean, it's not like I'm fooling anybody. *facepalm* HUGE thanks to blue_meridian and princessofg for beta-duty and hand-holding and cheerleading above and beyond the call.

( For one horrible, stomach-lurching, dick-hardening second, Jack is on his knees before Daniel and he wants to worship. )

The Stars Up Above You Feel Wrong
SG1, rated G, 1400 words.
I guess this is gen. Holy shit. Weird.
AN: Source for the title and quote. Set before "Forever in a Day." Because I have never written apocalypse before, despite loving it more than anything.

( Somewhere in that sky, the world may be ending. All they can do is wait. )

Five ATA gene side-effects
For sg1_five_things, here. Look, I finally wrote a five-things that really is a list of five things, instead of a huge actual fic!
Jack/Daniel and John/Rodney, 650 words, R

( Rodney can't prove a thing, but after digging through Jack O'Neill's records... )

Random side question: I am starting to see movement on various fandom Christmas/holiday exchanges, including the poll post at sg1_jubilee that basically NOBODY has answered. Is sg1_jubilee the main exchange? (If so, why have none of you voted over there?) Is there one for SGA? I can't find it! (Or better yet, one for gateverse in general?)

*Just watched "Birthright" (7x10) for the first time. My "I love Teal'c, but just cannot eroticize him" problem, it is GONE. That man looks like an utterly amazing kisser. Christopher Judge's lips + Jolene Blalock's lips = hot beyond the telling of it.

*Every time I watch SG1, I am stunned anew by how sexy Michael Shanks is, and by Jack and Daniel's fantastic comic timing and subtle eye-contact/eyebrow plays off each other.

*jd_junkie wrote me "Jack and Daniel watch Wormhole X-treme together." And lo, it is adorable.

*There is a very good discussion on writing smut going on here. I disagree on one point, but not drastically. The real thing to come out of this, though, was my realization that I really WANT to write het porn, and have just been stopped by The Terminology Problem. If anybody has solutions to The Terminology Problem, I would love to hear them. *sigh*

*I am continuing to delay my spn_nostalgia commitment. Apparently, I am not as good at being polyfannish as I thought. FAIL. The more I try to write Sam/Dean, the more Jack/Daniel bunnies assault me. I have come up with FIVE I could write right now, in just the last hour, while getting not even a paragraph of Sam/Dean done with.

I kind of adore character meta that comes from different ways of organizing/categorizing characters, by whatever psychological classification you use. I could eat that type of meta up with a spoon.

( Take, for example, Harry Potter Hogwarts houses - Torchwood, Dr Who, SPN, SGA, SG1 )

( Or Myers-Briggs, for instance )

( But I just read another categorization framework I found interesting )

( So let's apply it to Jack and Daniel )

( Why I find this interesting: )

Jesus, I will SHUT UP now.

Fighting Instincts
Jack/Daniel first time
PG-13, 1250 words
AN: Writing exercise. Don't ask me what they were fighting about; I haven't a clue, but the exact argument doesn't seem important.

( He saw the punch coming a mile off. )

Look, I WARNED you guys! Remember that big list of things I wanted? Here they are. Disclaimer: These come with no artistic integrity, no connections between ficlets, no warranties as to characterization or plausibility, and no pretense as to quality. Hell, they aren't even proofread. One involves curtains. Read at your own risk.


( Shopping for condo furnishings in DC )



( The one where Jack goes all out and gets down on one knee )



( The one where they hold a tiny little hush-hush ceremony with just SG1 that gets out of hand )



( The one where don't ask, don't tell is repealed and they are married practically before the ink is dry )



( The sex with lots of talking and lots of endearments and lots of 'I love you's. )



Oh my God, I feel SO MUCH better now. Except for the fact that my spn_nostalgia is now due in two days and I am still procrastinating it. *hangs head* But at least I think I am in a mental place for happy brotherly banter now. If I had tried to write it before these, it would have been Incest-induced Guilt Angst Of Doom.

Second Chances
For Five Times Jack and Daniel Were Unfaithful To Each Other at sg1_five_things, but it outgrew any kind of reasonable commentfic length.
Multiple pairings (Jack/Laira, Jack/OMC, Daniel/OMC), but this is mostly about the Jack/Daniel.
3700 words, NC-17
princessofg betad me and knocked my socks off- thank you! I changed the ending completely after she was done with it, so blame me and not her.

( Three strikes and you're out; hell, in soccer it only takes one red card. )

Problem Solving
SG1 Jack/Daniel first time, 1800 words, PG-13
Small Victories (4x01) tag
AN: Really not sure about this one, but I wrote this comment and the damn thing wouldn't leave me alone. This is the first J/D first-time I've written, and... I don't know.

( Jack had said, 'Davis, give the order,' and Paul had turned to look at him, and waited. And it didn’t make sense. )

Pragmatics
SG1, Jack/Daniel, 850 words, rated G
Small Victories (4x01) tag
No beta, please save me from myself if necessary.
AN: Sometimes I can break writer’s block by writing a scene of almost pure dialog. This is actually the sequel to Unlooked-for Gift, in that it resolves the conflict beginning to simmer in that one. No, really. If you were in Daniel’s POV that would make sense, I swear.

( I gave the order to kill you. )

Because I am still only halfway through SG1 Season 7, but I need to skip ahead to research a fic, I appeal to the collective flist wisdom: When exactly does Jack leave the SGC? I mean, it's during the Season8-season9 break, I know. But do we ever see him tell the team this decision, or see their initial reactions to it? If so, WHAT EPISODE? If not, what do we know about this?

I need this. *begs*

ETA: Found! My flist rocks. Thank you.

I am so freakin sad about the cancellation of SGA. I mean, I will miss those characters! But then again, SGA is pretty much the epitome of a "fic is better than the show" fandom, and I almost like SGA better the less of it I watch, so, you know...

( Vid stuff, from VVC con reports I've seen )

Five First Kisses
SG1 Jack/Daniel
4600 words, R
WARNING for character death.
Thanks to abyssinia4077 for helpful brainstorming and jd_junkie, the fastest beta in the West.

( I had five first kisses with the love of my life. )

I just had a long phone conversation with C wherein we discussed the things the Stargate franchise does with clones and androids and AU-versions and Alternate-timeline-versions and doubling in general. All of which boil down to 'I love this franchise!' and also to me being completely thematically obsessed with Jack's clone.

Quick! When you imagine Jack and Daniel (let's go with a Jack and Daniel who are not sleeping together, or at least not yet) having a fight- a huge, vicious, knock-down-drag-out fight over something *between* "Need" and "Menace" (that is, not counting either of those), what is it? I mean, what utterly terrible thing did they do/say to each other in an episode, or in a missing scene, or what would one of them have been horribly offended by, in that four-season span?

Why, yes, I am trying to write something here. I have 4/5 of a vaguely "five things" inspired Jack/Daniel thing, and I need help.

Speaking of which, does anyone want to do a super-fast run-through of what I have? Character death warning, 3700 words.