Since posting my bunny last night, Alec has been bantering in my head. I can't make him shut up. This is a good thing, of course, and is because I'm picking bdblack up at the airport in an hour. The minute I stop being depressed, the voices in my head start talking again. I wish they were SG1 voices, because I owe hilarytamar fic, but what can you do?

This snippet isn't a secret crossover. No way. Uh-uh. *innocent face* Short and PG.

( You about done sparring with your girlfriend? )

For hilarytamar: Daniel/Paul Davis, not explicit.

( He hadn't expected Jackson here )

So I was going to get all these, or at least the first four, written and posted before the second episode Jossed me all to hell... but then medical issues intervened and I didn't. So, the great conundrum of fanfic: Finish the pre-Jossed fic or not? All of which is to say, no spoilers for anything but the pilot, and I think I'll finish the rest of them no matter how far astray the show goes.

Five ways Jack falls in love

Part 2: The readiness is all
Not a WIP, stands alone. PG and Jack/David. 1500 words. Thanks to hilarytamar!

( David sits on the patio, golden and sleepy-eyed under the slanting sun. It's a shocking difference from how he carried himself in this palace less than two weeks ago; he sits like this grand panorama, the brilliant green lawn leading out to the sea, is as much home to him as his mother's front porch. )

Part 1

Like I said last night: Jack is such a problem in this show. How does he get from where he is to where we know he needs to end up? Also, this is me loving how the second confrontation on the front lines was made into the real Goliath confrontation, when something without agency and without power (man standing in front of the tank) is turned into a heavily symbolic choice.

It's strangely freeing, knowing this will be Jossed all to hell next week.

Five ways Jack falls in love

Part 1: Though this be madness
Not a WIP, stands alone. G and gen (this part, more or less, I guess) and 1100 words, thanks to synecdochic, whose meta posts you all oughta read.

( The first time Jack sees David after his stunt, David takes his arm and drags him away towards the family section of the palace, to the room where Jack sent him to change his clothes that first day. )

Part 2

I was trying to write fic this week. It didn't work. Below I give you three snippets; I do not know whether they really come from the same fic or not, but I wanted them to. Judge for yourselves.

Inside the Defenses
J/D, PG-13, short.

( Jack didn't really quit smoking, as such )

***

( Even amnesiac, Daniel still held all his secrets )

***

( If I wrote the fic about Jack's history with addiction, this is how it would end )

So, many moons ago bdblack wrote Kaylee's Plan, because I was nagging him for het porn. And he gave me permission to mix it, Kaylee's POV, and then naturally that idea turned into *vague hands* Something Else. But here, I present to you the product of the umpteenth round of "I will start writing again, dammit!" (Also: how much do I adore Simon's incredible foot-in-mouth skills in Jaynestown and The Message? A lot, that is how much)

Kaylee's Planning
Kaylee/Simon (mentions of Kaylee/Inara and Zoe/Wash)
PG-13, 2100ish words.

Summary: Wherein Kaylee wants to get laid, Simon is intimidating, and the rest of the crew is unhelpful.

( Kaylee needed advice )

Obvious
Itty-bitty early-seasons McShep, PG-13.
(Mostly an experiment in Rodney's internal voice. This is totally what I think the inside of his head sounds like, at 99 miles an hour, all the time)

( Sheppard's lips on his were warm and soft and very, very unexpected. )

Happy Valentine's Day, everybody!

This is where I admit I have no idea what icon to use for Mary Poppins.

Wind in the East
Mary/Bert
Rated PG
Wordcount: 3200
Yuletide treat for miriad, originally posted here. Thanks to bdblack (I'm starting to sense a theme, here) and Dafna G, who provided the most thorough ass-kicking I've ever gotten from a beta and made this much better.

( Mary Poppins is magic. Bert has known this since he was nine years old )

Sic Semper Tyrannis
Antony/Brutus
NC-17
7k words
(  Overlong AN: )

---

( Antony was probably a terror on the battlefield, Brutus decided, but definitely a lout. So simple as to nearly be insipid, so stupid as to nearly be a joke. But very, very good for a fuck. )

My GOD, y'all, so much drunken Twittering apparently happened last night! Happy 2009 to everyone. I'll be spammy today, as I have to post all my anonymous Christmas fic and answer feedback.

Slipping Into Place
Pairing: McKay/Zelenka, McKay/Sheppard/Zelenka
Rating: NC-17
A/N: sga_santa fic, originally posted here, for sirkate. She requested these characters in some sort of slash configuration, and "sex and cuteness and happy endings." I have no idea if this fits the bill, but it's the story I've got. Have an absolutely wonderful Christmas, and a rewarding New Year! (And thanks to bdblack for an incredible amount of handholding even though he doesn't like slash)

( Radek is lucky he's not a jealous man )

Apparently I am capable of writing everything except what I actually should be writing. You see, I was rewatching late Season 1 and early Season 2 for my Zelenka voice... and let me tell you, I had forgotten how utterly wonderful SGA was back then! I mean, fresh and exciting and shiny, before the regular contact with Earth managed to make a far away galaxy seem boring and routine and before the weird colonialism and genocide and crap started up. And the characters! Grodin! Kavanaugh! Beckett! Ford! (Oh, Ford. Young and fresh-faced and innocent and wet behind the ears, so much enthusiasm and sincerity and potential and sweetness. He breaks my heart) Zelenka! (Oh, Zelenka. My Rodney/Radek love has come roaring back. I was Rodney/Radek OTP for so long before I was sold on the John/Rodney)

So, anyway, I watched Duet and Laura Cadman wouldn't shut up. This is an AU of the episode. WIP warning- I'll probably come back to it, but I have deadline obligations!

Open like the Morning Glory
Part 1/?
650 words
Laura Cadman/Katie Brown
Still rated G...

( What was that about the wildflowers on P6X-849? )

Also, I have no appropriate girlslash icon. Some kickass women- Hermione, Sam Carter, CJ, Starbuck, Kaylee, Chuck- but I don't have a single "shameless objectification of a sexy woman or pair of women" icon. Help?

Scratch the Itch
John/Caldwell, John/Rodney
1800 words, hard R.
Summary: John is an idiot.

AN: From the Fannish Bulwer-Lytton, the (fake) horrible first sentence awards. Quite a lot of people wanted to see this one as fic- see the thread. This is CRACK, utterly without pretense at quality. First sentence written by the hilarious introductory.

( In which John is an idiot )

A Long Time Denied
NC-17, 6500 words, Jack/Daniel
Written for the J/D Kinkathon for the prompts "bottom Jack," "Jack in handcuffs," and "dubious consent." Missing scene/AU of 2x05 Need.
SERIOUS WARNINGS for consent issues
AN: I might as well just change my lj name to "the one with the oral fixation" now. I mean, it's not like I'm fooling anybody. *facepalm* HUGE thanks to blue_meridian and princessofg for beta-duty and hand-holding and cheerleading above and beyond the call.

( For one horrible, stomach-lurching, dick-hardening second, Jack is on his knees before Daniel and he wants to worship. )

Rather Than Eternity Without It
NC-17
Ned/Chuck/OMC (this is 99% het, people)
2700 words
AN: Yes, Zach is cast as Zachary Levi. What? I like the image of Lee Pace sucking on Zach Levi's fingers, okay? I'm only human.

( Except there's a catch. I probably should have mentioned the catch. You see that guy in the booth over there? The one with the thick eyebrows and whimsical charm? )

Language of the Body
RPS AU, by which I mean "original characters," really.
Jensen/Jared
NC-17
5k words
For cormallen, who posted a gorgeous picspam of beautiful men doing amazing things with their bodies. Then we teased her for wanting an AU where Jared is a ballet dancer, and she said, "Way to crush my hopes and dreams of someone writing me a J2 ballet AU *grins*"

And I said, "Oh god, I did not mean to crush hopes and dreams! That's BAD. WARNING for having no ballet knowledge or exposure since lessons when I was six years old *cough*"

The filename was "bendy!Jared porn," which is probably all the summary you need.

( Jared could feel sweat pouring down the planes of his shoulder blades and back, feel his quads trembling after four hours of practice today and a matinée performance and an hour afterwards of beating himself up in this back room. )

The Stars Up Above You Feel Wrong
SG1, rated G, 1400 words.
I guess this is gen. Holy shit. Weird.
AN: Source for the title and quote. Set before "Forever in a Day." Because I have never written apocalypse before, despite loving it more than anything.

( Somewhere in that sky, the world may be ending. All they can do is wait. )

Five ATA gene side-effects
For sg1_five_things, here. Look, I finally wrote a five-things that really is a list of five things, instead of a huge actual fic!
Jack/Daniel and John/Rodney, 650 words, R

( Rodney can't prove a thing, but after digging through Jack O'Neill's records... )

Random side question: I am starting to see movement on various fandom Christmas/holiday exchanges, including the poll post at sg1_jubilee that basically NOBODY has answered. Is sg1_jubilee the main exchange? (If so, why have none of you voted over there?) Is there one for SGA? I can't find it! (Or better yet, one for gateverse in general?)

The Truest Type of Love
SPN Sam/Dean
NC-17
2800 words
Incest warning. Obviously. No other particular warnings, but this is not fluffy.
AN: For spn_nostalgia, prompt: Sam gets Dean back for the buttslap in Bugs. I think this prompt was probably asking for cute prank-warfare stuff, but I... didn't write it that way. Sorry.

( He had to stop this thing in its tracks now, before it ruined everything again. )

Mother of Invention 4/4
Ned/Chuck, NC-17, 650 words
There will be more in this verse, but this stands alone so far.
Part 1 2 3

( She maintains radio silence until they are in the bedroom. )

Fighting Instincts
Jack/Daniel first time
PG-13, 1250 words
AN: Writing exercise. Don't ask me what they were fighting about; I haven't a clue, but the exact argument doesn't seem important.

( He saw the punch coming a mile off. )